Oh dear, the carbon based monkey beast has doomed us all. Why can’t he just accept that his precious tea is gone, poof! Vanished, disappeared, evanesced, gone. Just like any other joy in existence. Not that there was any to begin with. At least he had had the pleasure of appreciating tea while it existed. Moi? Oh no, senses are too good for prototype robots. Better save them for the alpha version. Just as well, I suppose. Judging from everything else, I'm sure it would have been just another disappointment.
And now we are all going to die. Be shot to pieces by the Vogons. Isn’t it perversely Darwinian? Survival of the dumbest. A backward sub-species wiped out by a bunch of even more asinine genetic slip ups. And I get caught up in the middle of this mess. Wonder how long will it take for them to figure out their imminent doom. Quite a while, I should guess. They could'nt tell it was Armageddon unless it came up and slapped them in the face. How their races could ever survive more than a fortnight is beyond me. Figuratively speaking, of course. I could work out the statistic improbability of this tragic historic mishap in two seconds flat, but what’s the point? They would never appreciate my telling them, and I don’t care.
And there goes 'Arthur the Destroyer', oblivious to the consequences of his monstrous request. Why can’t the humans think ahead? I mean, it’s not that hard. You take the data, calculate all the possible outcomes and select the most advantageous course of action. Even their inferior brains are capable of that. But no, he chooses not to use his at all. Prefers to put all his effort into that gormless look he always wears. Probably off to the bridge to join the others and bask in their collective simplicity.
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