Star date: Who Knows
Time: Who Cares, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!
Mood: PANICKED
Again, I never though I would be writing for a third time today, but everything has gone terribly wrong. Apparently, my attempts at get the Nutri-spawn-of-Satan Machine to make tea has caused Eddie, (that’s the ship’s computer), to use all his computational power and resources on making me a cuppa. At first, I didn’t see how this could be such a problem; except, now we are being attacked by Vogons, and Eddie isn’t exactly available to help us out. Everyone is yelling at each other. And despite what the cover of Ford’s stupid book says, everyone seems to think the best course of action is to panic.
They are all giving me accusatory glances, but it’s not really my fault. O.K., so maybe I might be a teensy bit responsible, but how was I to know that trying to get a drink that tasted halfway decent would cause an Armageddon? How am I suppose to know what I can and cannot do? Nobody tells me anything because they think I won’t understand. So really, this all their fault for not telling me, “Don’t use the ship’s main computer to try and make tea”. Oh God, no it’s not! Even I can see that that’s completely daft. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! I WANT MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!
(I am writing this log in case I don’t survive the next few minutes. If I die, the thing I will most regret is that I never did get a decent cup of tea.)
Arthur
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